So I was watching The Passion of the Christ with my family a while back, and all I could think was “Damn, Jesus was sexy.” Is that sacrilegious?
Eh, who cares, I’m Pagan. :P
They’re celebrating Samhain in Merlin! And they said it correctly. The nerd and the Pagan within me are rejoicing! Gah.
I think the turtle is my new spirit animal.
Either that, or I’m just obsessing over them right now.
Either way, turtles are pretty fucking special to me.
Guys.
I want to be the happy, hippie, Pagan version of me that I was just a few months ago.
I don’t want to be this depressed, tired, lazy person that I am now.
Any advice?
(Oh, I recently discovered I might be bipolar. I’m getting a second opinion/help with that soon.)
But other than that…advice?
Conversation between a Christian man (Mormon) and a Pagan woman (eclectic)
- Him: I invite you to come marry me. (This was a status post, however, he has messaged me and other girls he doesn't know, asking them to marry him in the temple. He's asking strangers this. If you're wondering, this conversation occurred on the site, Myyearbook.com)
- Me: (as a message to him, because I was annoyed at this point) Desperation is very unattractive. Women do not like desperate men. Also, you need to learn how to be happy on your own, or you will NEVER be happy with your spouse. Also, you date before you get married. You don't just marry a random girl. That's a recipe for disaster.
- Him: :) Are you temple worthy? Are you a virgin? Because that's what I'm desperate for! If not, have faith in Christ and repent of your sins until you can get there. I trust God. If he says to marry a complete stranger, I wil.
- Me: God wouldn't tell you to marry a complete stranger, because God is not an idiot.
- Him: Read the story of Isaac and Rebekah in the the first book of the bible Genesis Chapter 24. She agreed to marry Him before even meeting him in person. She didn't have internet or a picture or an "about me" to read to help her decide. And I am looking for a girl who is looking for a Temple marriage and will work towards that goal. Not a whore who just wants to feast on some flesh and abuse the world around her. But if you are willing to repent of all your sins and serve the God with all your heart and keep all his commandments, then I am willing to give you an opertunity to be married in the Temple. Which if found worthy, will allow to the be a goddess instead of an angel after the resurrection, and be able to continue having children for all eternity. Angels cannot reproduce. Angel's have to serve the gods for all eternity.
- Me: So you're not looking for love? Wouldn't you rather be madly in love with the woman you're going to marry, rather than marry just anyone? No woman is going to agree to this. Women crave romance and passion in a marriage...not just a contract. She will want to get to know you first, and then she'll want to be romanced and swept off her feet by you. She'll want to be romantic and sweet. She'll want you to marry her because you love her, not just because she was there. You have been asking for this for a very long time on MyYearbook, and I'm telling you why it isn't happening. Women want to be in love. They won't marry some strange man on the internet who claims to be a faithful LDS man. People can claim whatever they want on the internet. They have no reason to trust or believe you. These things take time. You sound quite impatient, so I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not going to find a woman on here and get married this week, unless you find a woman who is completely insane. A sane and rational woman would never do that.
- Him: I love all God's daughters. I have been engaged twice this last year to two beautiful virgins. Who unfortunatly I had to brake up with because neither was ready or was the girl I felt I should marry. Both I found on the enternet. And you can't fake being worthy for a temple marriage. One must get several interviews by church leaders who recieve revalation and prophecy from God and stand as judges and are held acountable before God if they let someone unworthy enter into the everlasting covenant. The whore of the world wishes for all the blessings of heaven without any works of faith and repentance. I understand whores want sex first, but the best things in life come to those who wait and live the commandments of God and marry first. We are charged to love and forgive all. And seek Forgiveness from God for our sins and forsake them all. And become clean and worthy through the atonement of Christ. My Job, is to try to marry you in the temple. If we aren't meant to be together, at least I know I invited you to live a better life.
- Me: You don't START a relationship with engagement. You can meet on the internet, but you START a relationship with going on dates! Then you start dating, then you move on to being in a serious relationship, and then, after at least a year or two, you both decide if you are ready for marriage. The dating process is meant for finding someone you are compatible with, and finding the person you want to marry. You may love all of God's daughters, but love and being IN LOVE are two totally different things! You love your mom, but you would never marry your mom. There is a difference between love and in love. Being temple worthy is not enough for two people to get married. There is SO MUCH MORE to marriage than that. There's love and trust, and compatibility. You are not going to have that with every single girl who is temple worthy. Relationships take time and effort to build, and they are not easy! They're very very hard! But getting through the hard stuff is what makes the bond between two people strong. My grandparents have been married for 40 years. They said that the reason they were able to stay together is because they were best friends FIRST. You should marry a girl who will be your best friend, since she will be your companion from this life into the next. If you're not best friends, you will both be very miserable. It seems to me like you are looking for the easy way out, and your marriage will fail because of it.
- Him: I will do my Lord's will and keep his comandments. I will treat others like I wish to be treated. I choose to be a god. I wish you would as well.
- Me: You didn't take in anything that I said. I'm beginning to wonder if you have a brain deficiency. And I already am a motherfucking goddess. I don't need your religion or your bullshit rules to be one.
- Him: I love you Taylore... Have faith in Christ and repent of your sins.
- Me: You don't love me. You might have compassion for me as a fellow human being, but you cannot love what you do not know, and you do not know me. I have faith in myself. I don't need Christ. I know him, and he's great, but I don't need him. I just need me.
- Him: I do love you. And everyone one this planet needs Christ to be forgiven of there sins and to be ressurected after death. And if you don't repent, He will ressurect you as an angel and not a god. which means no babies and no planets
- Me: Oh, but I don't believe in sin. I think that is a false concept used to make people feel guilty for things that make them feel good. I think if it makes you smile, and doesn't hurt anyone, then there is nothing wrong with it. I believe that everyone has their own god/goddess, and that it is them. I am already a Goddess. I have a Goddess, and She loves me, and I pray to Her. I do not pray to her consort, the God. I can appreciate Him, but I do not intimately need Him like I need Her. She understands me better because she is a woman. I believe that every religion is true, simply because people believe in it, and when we die, whatever we think will happen, will. So you will become a God and whatnot. And I will be reborn onto this planet and live many more lives until I want to do something else. Just because one thing is true, that doesn't mean the opposite thing is false. We do not live in a world of Black and White. There are no absolutes.
- (I'll post more as we message more.) : P
I was recently asked, “SO I just finished reading your little “debate” and I have got to say.I am in love with you. Marry me?”
I answered, “Oh my goodness! Thank you! (:
My Goddess has many faces. See, in my belief system that I have created for myself, we all have our own personal Gods and Goddess, of whom we are extensions. To relate it to life, it’s sort of like dreaming. When we go to sleep and enter the dream realm, we have bodies and experiences that feel real but our “real” bodies are in tact, laying in our beds. When we’re dreaming, we can’t remember the events of our lives, all we can remember is what we are supposed to remember in the specific dream. I believe that when we “die” we go back to our spiritual bodies, and when we do, we remember all the events in all of the lives we have lived. But when we are born, we “forget” all of those things, because remembering them all in our tiny brains would overload them. We can tap into the consciousness of our “Higher Selves” through meditation, spell work, prayer, and other divination practices. I also believe that simply believing in something makes it true. That’s not to say that believing the sky is brown will make it brown, but on a metaphysical level, believing in something gives it power. So all the ancient gods and goddesses are real in a sense. Does that make any sense? Sorry if it doesn’t, haha.”
The reason I didn’t post it is because I like to answer questions privately. It’s difficult to continually check back to someone’s blog to see whether or not they answered. I liked my answer, so I thought I would share. (:
Given that it’s too long and I haven’t the slightest of how else to comment, I’ll post it here; hopefully get a response. Rafiki this isn’t meant to be snarky, I genuinely want to know.
If you want to be a Vegan that’s cool. If you want to preach that other Witches/Wiccans/Pagans/whatever are…
I wasn’t meaning to preach, though I do realize that it came off that way. *Sorry!* It was a genuine question, and wasn’t meant to be a judgement. (:
“Saying that whole thing about Vegans have a need to basically force their beliefs on others is very Christian Fundamentalist of you.”
Veganism is a type of activism, which means that a fundamental part of being vegans is trying to “convert” others. However, this is the one part about it that bugs me the most. So instead, I try to educate and “challenge” the beliefs and opinions of others (especially if they are founded in ignorance.) This is my personal belief, but if one is uncomfortable with their beliefs being challenged, then they are uncomfortable with their beliefs. I also acknowledge that having one’s beliefs constantly challenged is tiring. Therefore, I do not continue to challenge once the “debate” has come to a close. Though if I hear what I believe to be ignorance, I will try to educate!
What you described is what I explained to others as the most ethical and non-harmful way to eat meat. (: I don’t judge that particular lifestyle, because to me, it’s the life of the animal that is most important, not the death. (Which is why I explained the awful conditions of factory farming.)
“But, I have to ask this; what about the plants you’re eating? Do they not have life? Souls? I’m an animist, many pagans and Witches are (with and without their own interpretation of what is it to be one), thus I believe that every living thing has it’s own soul. ……”
I do believe that plants have life, and can feel pain and despair spiritually. However, the plants are not tortured before they are harvested, and cannot physically feel pain. (Pain is a signal sent to your brain by distressed nerves. Plants do not have brains.) And I do thank the plants for their sacrifice, and try to respect them in every way I can. (When I got the wood for my wand, I went out to the old cherry tree in my backyard and asked it if it would permit me a branch. The next day there was a branch on the ground. It’s the one I used, and I thanked the tree for its sacrifice.) I believe in animism as well. (:
“You, as a Vegan, even think or acknowledge that you’re harming plants? Or care? Or, do you actually give a damn about the life of that plant you’re eating?”
As explained above…I do. (:
Blessed be! (:
Meditation: 1/26/2012 (I held my daughter(s) for the first time!!)
I went to my meditation class again last night, and I had a very profound, enlightening, and powerful experience.
I’m not going to go over how he led us into the meditation, like I did last time. ( http://rafiki-town.tumblr.com/post/16162948668/meditation-1-19-12 ) A lot of the imagery was the same. I’m just going to try and relate my own experiences within the meditation in the best way that I can. (Without transitions from one to the next….sorry about that, haha. It was just a lot.)
- Our teacher told us that we were connected to “The Creator,” however we see them. I saw a pregnant woman, and she told me she was the Goddess, and that she had many forms by which she has been seen. I saw her giving birth to a spiritual being, and she said the spiritual being was me, and yet I was also her (the Goddess). I understood that when I died, I would return to her, and we would give birth to the next persona we were to be in our next life. (As we had done many times before.)
- Our teacher once again introduced us to the imagery of “The Knower,” who is the being who understands you and knows you 100%. I saw a genderless being, with a flat chest, and no genitals, with long hair. The Knower (who hadn’t really had a shape in my previous meditation) was a being of light, and therefore didn’t have things like nipples, or body hair. But she (yes, she was genderless, but I don’t prefer to call her “it” so I will stick with “she” for this post) did have hair upon her head, which was also light. Our teacher said that if an embrace was appropriate, to give one. I felt it was, so I hugged the Knower, like an old friend.
- The Knower led me to the dark place I was in during my last meditation, and it didn’t feel right. The only way I can explain it, is that it was similar to what I imagine a snake feels when it is ready to shed its old skin for new skin. So the Knower took my hand and led me to a portal. Our teacher told us we would find a guardian at the portal. I saw the guardian as another genderless being, but “he” was not made of light. (Though he was genderless, I sensed masculine energy within “him.”) My teacher said that if an embrace was appropriate, to give one. I felt that a handshake was the most appropriate. The place I was led into was beyond beautiful. I saw a world of lush plants. Most of them do not exist on Earth, and I could not name them. When I first entered this world, I felt like a child. I was running in the grass, and excitedly pointing to different plants. I did cartwheels, and rejoiced in this beautiful place. The Knower looked upon this like a parent would a child. She was still, but content.
- Our teacher said we could invite people into this world, and I saw many creatures, like sprites, faeries, and many otherkin. I also saw children, but I saw no human adults, and no one I knew from my current physical life.
- Our teacher told us that there was a place in our beautiful world, for which we would sit, and be still. I saw a picnic spread. (White and red checkered blanket, and a picnic basket.) I ran to the spot, and starting enthusiastically eating the food. (Veggies!) The Knower did not sit with me, nor eat the food, but simply silently gazed upon me. Then I tried to be still. It was extremely difficult. I felt like running, and jumping. I felt like I had too much energy. I just couldn’t be still. So, I stood. And I tried so hard to be still. But I could feel a light breeze moving my hair, and my dress, and I wanted to fly with it. Because I noticed I wasn’t still, I began to come out of the meditation. I was scared. I didn’t want to prematurely end the meditation and sit in a dark room with other people around me meditating.
- I saw myself growing younger and younger. I became a child and the Knower held me in her arms. I became a baby, and the Knower comforted me. I then became the Knower, and the child within my arms was my daughter. She was suckling at my breast, and I could finally be still, because I was no longer being still for me. I was being still for my daughter. Then my daughter became a toddler, and I laid in the grass, while she contentedly laid against me, and played with my hair. (Which happened to be completely dreaded, by the way.) I had to keep telling her not to eat my dreads, haha. Then my daughter began to grow before my very eyes, and another baby appeared in my arms. I recognized her as my second daughter. At this point I began to cry (real physical tears), because I knew I was really holding her.*** I saw other children running and laughing around me, and I knew I was surrounded by my other children, but they were not as focused on me, and I was not as focused on them. We loved each other, but in that moment it was not time for us to connect.
- When it became time to leave the meditation, I despaired. I wanted to stay there forever with my daughters. But my older daughter told me that I could come and visit any time, and that they would come into the physical realm when it was time. My eldest daughter held my younger daughter. My younger daughter then became a small child, and then my daughters held hands (rather than one carrying the other). I could feel their love, and knew I could see them whenever I wanted. This comforted me. They became wisps of smoke, and drifted away, yet I knew they were still with me.
-The Knower once again appeared, and took my hand. In that moment, I was once more like a child, rather than in the role of “Mother.” She led me out through the portal, and into the waking state. I was still crying when I left the meditation, and I cried super hard when my friend asked me what was wrong and I responded “Nothing is wrong. I held my daughter!” In that moment, it became real to me, and I knew the experience had been “real.”
***So about the “daughters thing”. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this before on my blog, but I feel very connected to my first two daughters. (I currently have no physical children, and in this lifetime have never been pregnant.) I have had this hunger to be a mother since I was about four years old, and it has become stronger every year since then. Last summer, it was really hard for me. I was working at a day care center, and I was constantly surrounded by babies and children, and even two pregnant women. I could feel my daughters with me, and I knew they were impatient, because they wanted to come to Earth (though as I think on it now, it might have been my own impatience reflected.) I have seen them in my dreams and in “visions” many times, and I know they will be my first two children. The meditation was very healing for me, as it gave me the patience I needed in order to do the things I need to before I give them physical bodies. (Get a car, finish school, get a job, get a house, find their father, etc.) I know I saw my other children too (I want about six, but I’m not confident on how many I will actually have), but I feel like I am currently more connected to my first two daughters….most likely because they will be coming here much sooner than my rest. I know they will be old souls. I know they will be souls I have loved over many lifetimes. I am excited to re-connect with them in the physical realm, but I’m also ready to face that it won’t be today. :P
(Ps. My teacher actually told me before the meditation that I was a very old soul. That I was a “granny” in a young girl’s body. He said I had played the role of Shaman, and he saw me connected to the Natives from South America. He also said that he believes I was here when the Earth was not 100% physical, and I was about 10-12 feet tall (as all “humans” were in that “time”) and was not 100% physical myself. He said I was around when the “law of polarity” came into being. He also said that the metaphysical concepts come really easily for me, and to not let anyone tell me I’m not psychic, because I am very, very psychic. He also said that I have most likely been persecuted, and executed, for spiritual reasons, and for “being right.” I asked him if he saw me in England, and he said “Yes, middle ages.” He wouldn’t give me any more details, but I told him I was trying to confirm something, and he said that my suspicions were most likely correct….yikes! -I cannot tell you about that one. Sorry.- He said he would tell me when he’s doing a past life regression class. Yay!!!)
All that vegan debate was getting too long, so I saved it all to put in one post, if you really want to read it. (With links and everything)
I’m putting in screen-cap photos so you can see the original posts exactly as they are, without editing. (:
