So I was watching The Passion of the Christ with my family a while back, and all I could think was “Damn, Jesus was sexy.” Is that sacrilegious?
Eh, who cares, I’m Pagan. :P
They’re celebrating Samhain in Merlin! And they said it correctly. The nerd and the Pagan within me are rejoicing! Gah.
I think the turtle is my new spirit animal.
Either that, or I’m just obsessing over them right now.
Either way, turtles are pretty fucking special to me.
Guys.
I want to be the happy, hippie, Pagan version of me that I was just a few months ago.
I don’t want to be this depressed, tired, lazy person that I am now.
Any advice?
(Oh, I recently discovered I might be bipolar. I’m getting a second opinion/help with that soon.)
But other than that…advice?
Conversation between a Christian man (Mormon) and a Pagan woman (eclectic)
- Him: I invite you to come marry me. (This was a status post, however, he has messaged me and other girls he doesn't know, asking them to marry him in the temple. He's asking strangers this. If you're wondering, this conversation occurred on the site, Myyearbook.com)
- Me: (as a message to him, because I was annoyed at this point) Desperation is very unattractive. Women do not like desperate men. Also, you need to learn how to be happy on your own, or you will NEVER be happy with your spouse. Also, you date before you get married. You don't just marry a random girl. That's a recipe for disaster.
- Him: :) Are you temple worthy? Are you a virgin? Because that's what I'm desperate for! If not, have faith in Christ and repent of your sins until you can get there. I trust God. If he says to marry a complete stranger, I wil.
- Me: God wouldn't tell you to marry a complete stranger, because God is not an idiot.
- Him: Read the story of Isaac and Rebekah in the the first book of the bible Genesis Chapter 24. She agreed to marry Him before even meeting him in person. She didn't have internet or a picture or an "about me" to read to help her decide. And I am looking for a girl who is looking for a Temple marriage and will work towards that goal. Not a whore who just wants to feast on some flesh and abuse the world around her. But if you are willing to repent of all your sins and serve the God with all your heart and keep all his commandments, then I am willing to give you an opertunity to be married in the Temple. Which if found worthy, will allow to the be a goddess instead of an angel after the resurrection, and be able to continue having children for all eternity. Angels cannot reproduce. Angel's have to serve the gods for all eternity.
- Me: So you're not looking for love? Wouldn't you rather be madly in love with the woman you're going to marry, rather than marry just anyone? No woman is going to agree to this. Women crave romance and passion in a marriage...not just a contract. She will want to get to know you first, and then she'll want to be romanced and swept off her feet by you. She'll want to be romantic and sweet. She'll want you to marry her because you love her, not just because she was there. You have been asking for this for a very long time on MyYearbook, and I'm telling you why it isn't happening. Women want to be in love. They won't marry some strange man on the internet who claims to be a faithful LDS man. People can claim whatever they want on the internet. They have no reason to trust or believe you. These things take time. You sound quite impatient, so I'm sorry to burst your bubble, but you're not going to find a woman on here and get married this week, unless you find a woman who is completely insane. A sane and rational woman would never do that.
- Him: I love all God's daughters. I have been engaged twice this last year to two beautiful virgins. Who unfortunatly I had to brake up with because neither was ready or was the girl I felt I should marry. Both I found on the enternet. And you can't fake being worthy for a temple marriage. One must get several interviews by church leaders who recieve revalation and prophecy from God and stand as judges and are held acountable before God if they let someone unworthy enter into the everlasting covenant. The whore of the world wishes for all the blessings of heaven without any works of faith and repentance. I understand whores want sex first, but the best things in life come to those who wait and live the commandments of God and marry first. We are charged to love and forgive all. And seek Forgiveness from God for our sins and forsake them all. And become clean and worthy through the atonement of Christ. My Job, is to try to marry you in the temple. If we aren't meant to be together, at least I know I invited you to live a better life.
- Me: You don't START a relationship with engagement. You can meet on the internet, but you START a relationship with going on dates! Then you start dating, then you move on to being in a serious relationship, and then, after at least a year or two, you both decide if you are ready for marriage. The dating process is meant for finding someone you are compatible with, and finding the person you want to marry. You may love all of God's daughters, but love and being IN LOVE are two totally different things! You love your mom, but you would never marry your mom. There is a difference between love and in love. Being temple worthy is not enough for two people to get married. There is SO MUCH MORE to marriage than that. There's love and trust, and compatibility. You are not going to have that with every single girl who is temple worthy. Relationships take time and effort to build, and they are not easy! They're very very hard! But getting through the hard stuff is what makes the bond between two people strong. My grandparents have been married for 40 years. They said that the reason they were able to stay together is because they were best friends FIRST. You should marry a girl who will be your best friend, since she will be your companion from this life into the next. If you're not best friends, you will both be very miserable. It seems to me like you are looking for the easy way out, and your marriage will fail because of it.
- Him: I will do my Lord's will and keep his comandments. I will treat others like I wish to be treated. I choose to be a god. I wish you would as well.
- Me: You didn't take in anything that I said. I'm beginning to wonder if you have a brain deficiency. And I already am a motherfucking goddess. I don't need your religion or your bullshit rules to be one.
- Him: I love you Taylore... Have faith in Christ and repent of your sins.
- Me: You don't love me. You might have compassion for me as a fellow human being, but you cannot love what you do not know, and you do not know me. I have faith in myself. I don't need Christ. I know him, and he's great, but I don't need him. I just need me.
- Him: I do love you. And everyone one this planet needs Christ to be forgiven of there sins and to be ressurected after death. And if you don't repent, He will ressurect you as an angel and not a god. which means no babies and no planets
- Me: Oh, but I don't believe in sin. I think that is a false concept used to make people feel guilty for things that make them feel good. I think if it makes you smile, and doesn't hurt anyone, then there is nothing wrong with it. I believe that everyone has their own god/goddess, and that it is them. I am already a Goddess. I have a Goddess, and She loves me, and I pray to Her. I do not pray to her consort, the God. I can appreciate Him, but I do not intimately need Him like I need Her. She understands me better because she is a woman. I believe that every religion is true, simply because people believe in it, and when we die, whatever we think will happen, will. So you will become a God and whatnot. And I will be reborn onto this planet and live many more lives until I want to do something else. Just because one thing is true, that doesn't mean the opposite thing is false. We do not live in a world of Black and White. There are no absolutes.
- (I'll post more as we message more.) : P
Name: Taylore aka Rafiki
Gender: Female
Age: 19
Birth date: May 12
Place of birth: Murray, Utah
Current place of residence: West Jordan, Utah
Heritage: European Mutt (mostly Scottish, Danish, German, and English)
Siblings: 5 younger siblings
Parents: Mama, Pops, and Pops2 (stepdad) :P
Religious/Spiritual affiliation: Pagan
Pets: Kali my cat, Beorn the family dog
Marital status: Single
Sexual orientation: Queer with a preference (no cic-gendered males)
Tattoos/piercings: Stretched lobes (5/8), second ear piercing on each ear, snake bites, tattoo on my back
Glasses: Yes
PC or Mac: Pc
Mobile phone: Android Galaxy S - Verizon
Do you believe in ghosts?: Yes, but not as actual deceased beings; I believe they are psychic imprints left by traumatic events
Do you believe in UFOs?: UFO simply means Unidentified Flying Object, any object in the air that is not identified is a UFO. As for aliens? It’s possible. Can we really be the only ones in this vast Universe?
Abortion: I would never do it. If the woman is raped or it’s incest? Yes. If she and her partner were stupid and she got pregnant? It has to be within the time frame in which the child is not sentient, for me to think it is okay.
Death penalty: I’m very torn on this one. I don’t have an answer.
Gay marriage: YES!!!
Where have you traveled?: Mexico, and various states
Where else can you be found on the Internet?: Facebook, Youtube, Myyearbook, Ok!cupid, Plenty of Fish, yahoo, hotmail, and some others I can’t remember.
LGBTQ 30 Day Challenge all in one
Because I always forget, and I’ll skip days…so I’m doing it as one large post.
Day 1: Your sexual orientation or gender identity. Be creative in your definition.
Cis-gender and Queer, with a preference. Meaning, gender is not all that important to me, but I prefer to not date cis-gendered men. I will date cis-gendered women, mtf, and ftm individuals. I am sometimes sexually attracted to men, but generally only because I see qualities in them that I would like in my children. Men have never been able to fulfill me the way women have.
Day 2: Did you have any experiences as a child that might have foreshadowed your sexuality?
I had a crush on my childhood best friend. My barbies were single mothers, until I hit age 10, then they married each other as “best friends”. I looked up pictures of girls kissing when I was 11, and even though I didn’t know why I was doing that or what the feeling was, it turned me on. I started looking at lesbian porn when I was 12, but I thought I was just “curious.”
Day 3: How old were you when you knew? What was that like for you?
Well, I figured out I liked women when I was in 8th grade. I figured out my specific orientation this year. :P
Day 4: The first person you came out to and that story.
My best friend, the same one I have now. I’ve adopted her as my sister, haha. I was in my room when it hit me, “I like girls.” The very first thing I did, instead of questioning it or hiding from it, was call her and I said, “I think I might be bisexual.” She said, “Okay.” And since she loved me and accepted me right on the spot, I got the courage to be okay with who I was.
Day 5: Thoughts regarding inner turmoil about your sexuality; Did you have any? Did it escalate to self-injury or suicidal thoughts?
Well I thought I was straight as a kid…I didn’t even know what gay meant because I was so sheltered by my parents. (Mormon) So when I had a crush on my childhood best friend, I didn’t know. I thought it was normal to miss your best friend so much that it ached and made you cry. Then, the summer after 6th grade, I went to girl’s camp. I had a crush on one of the leaders and I didn’t understand it. I kept asking myself why I couldn’t stop thinking about her and looked for her constantly. Then in 8th grade it just sort of hit me…I like girls. I came out as bisexual, and I was very loud and obnoxious about it. Then I was molested by my step cousin at 15, and it freaked me out. Hearing the word “penis” made me gag. So I came out as gay. Not as obnoxious as I was before, but still very open and a little loud about it. I cut off my hair and tried to be butch, and that didn’t work out, ha. Then my gay best friend and I had this weird affair, and that’s when I came to the conclusion that gender didn’t matter much to me. But every single time I thought I knew what my orientation was, and I came out every single time. It was scary every time I came out, and there were days I would bawl and just wish I was normal. I used to cut myself, but not because of my feelings for women.
Day 6: Did you face any problems regarding religion?
As I said above, I was raised Mormon. That’s the reason I didn’t know what my feelings meant. I didn’t even know what gay was. I thought it just meant “bad.” There was a girl I went to school with, and we were friends, but then this rumor went around that she was a lesbian, so I stopped talking to her. I wish I could say sorry to her now, and hopefully sometime in the future I’ll get that chance; if not in this life, hopefully in the next. But once I came out about liking girls, I had already ditched that religion, and the next year I fell in love with Paganism, which is okay with the gay. :P
Day 7: How your parents took it or how you think they might take it?
My mom read my journal when I was 14, and that’s how she found out. She sat me down and talked to me about what bisexuality meant for what felt like hours. She asked me if I wanted to “rub up on girls,” and if I simply just really liked girls as friends, or if I really did want to kiss them. The answer was that I really wanted to kiss them, though I ignored the rubbing up on them part, haha. After she saw I was serious about it, she was fine. When I came out to her again as gay she said, “I knew it.” She has loved all of my girlfriends that she’s met (except one who cheated on me, haha). She is very accepting. My stepfather is loving and accepting of me, but believes that everyone has attraction to both genders, and therefore it is a choice that he does not approve of. We rarely talk about that. My father and I haven’t talked about it too much. His sister is gay, and I think that it’s a sore spot for him. However, he has never treated me any differently than he did when I first told him I like girls. Of course his first question was if my best friend and I were dating, haha. That’s everyone’s first question when they find out. :P
Day 8: What do you think the closet or being closeted means to you?
The closest is a safe but miserable place to hide, until you gain the courage to come out of the closest and enjoy the world around you. You can be in the closet about anything, really, not just being gay. I’ve heard it’s harder to come out as Pagan than as gay. What we have to remember, is that while we are in the closet and coming to terms with who we are, no one knows we are in the closest. Therefore, those around us haven’t had the time to get used to the concept like we have. When you come out of the closet, your family and friends go in. Remember how long it took for you to come out of the closet? Allow your family and friends some time to get used to it. Someday, we can only hope, the closets will all be gone, and no one will be surprised at the thought of someone else being gay.
Day 9: What do you think about LGBTQ Pride? Is it helpful or hurtful? Encouraged or unnecessary?
I think it’s not only helpful, but necessary. Every single day we live in the straight world. In all the movies, books, magazines, ads, couples walking down the street, etc., we are bombarded with things that are “straight.” Straight people come out all the time. They say, “My husband this,” or “my wife said that,” etc without even thinking about it. But when I say, “My girlfriend…” everyone looks all shocked (unless they know me, of course.) Pride gives us a safe haven. It’s a place where we can celebrate who we are, openly and freely. It’s a place where we can immerse ourselves in “gay culture.” It’s like taking a hot shower after rolling around in mud. We get to wash the influences of the straight world off of us for one measly weekend. We get to check people out, without guilt, without feeling like a pervert. We get to hold our girlfriend’s and boyfriend’s hands without fear of hatred, mocking, or stares. Pride is so beautiful, and essential to the LGBTQ community.
Day 10: What does marriage mean to you?
Marriage in our society is not just about committing to the person you love. There are benefits, legally and unspoken about, that come along with marriage. There are social benefits to being married. It’s just a piece of paper, but it comes with so much. It’s also a right, not a privilege.
Day 11: Your favorite LGBTQ book (or one you’d like to read)?
Annie on My Mind is so cute! Such a beautiful love story. (:
Day 12: Your favorite LGBTQ movie (or one you’d like to see)?
Hmmm…..But I’m A Cheerleader, simply because it is so funny!
Day 13: Your favorite LGBTQ role model/celebrity?
Ellen! She is just all around amazing.
Day 14: Your favorite LGBTQ song or artist?
TEGAN AND SARA. Come on. How are they not everyone’s favourite?
Day 15: Your favorite LGBTQ quote.
There are LGBTQ quotes? Oh shit…I’ll go look one up, haha. Actually, I found a lot of really great ones, so I’ll be posting a few, haha.
“I get sick of listening to straight people complain about, “Well, hey, we don’t have a heterosexual-pride day, why do you need a gay-pride day?” I remember when I was a kid I’d always ask my mom: “Why don’t we have a Kid’s Day? We have a Mother’s Day and a Father’s Day, but why don’t we have a Kid’s Day?” My mom would always say, “Every day is Kid’s Day.” To all those heterosexuals that bitch about gay pride, I say the same thing: Every day is heterosexual-pride day! Can’t you people enjoy your banquet and not piss on those of us enjoying our crumbs over here in the corner?” ~ Rob Nash
“The single best thing about coming out of the closet is that nobody can insult you by telling you what you’ve just told them.” ― Rachel Maddow
“I can guarantee a haircut will never tell you anything about someone’s gender, who they love, or how they fuck” - Andrea Gibson
“If you dream of a world in which you can put your partner’s picture on your desk,
then put her picture on your desk…and you will live in such a world.
And if you dream of a world in which you can walk down the street holding your partner’s hand,
then hold her hands…and you will live in such a world.
If you dream of a world in which there are more openly gay elected officials,
then run for office…and you will live in such a world.
And if you dream of a world in which you can take your partner to the office party,
even if your office is the US House of Representatives, then take her to the party.
I do, and now I live in such a world.
Remember, there are two things that keep us oppressed —- them and us.
We are half of the equation.” - Tammy Baldwin
“Sex is what’s in our pants. Gender is how we wear our pants. Sexual identity is what we do when our pants are off.”
Day 16: A picture from your first LGBTQ relationship or of your first LGBTQ crush.
How about I put a picture here of the first girl I ever fell in love with? :P
I’m on the left, she’s on the right.
Day 17: Your first experience with an LGBTQ organization or event (Day of Silence, Pride, etc).
About two years ago, I went to my first Pride…I went to three that summer, haha. I went to San Fran Pride, Phoenix Pride, and Salt Lake City Pride. I think the best one was San Fran. So many hot lesbians! And who doesn’t love the Castro? :P
Day 18: Something about the LGBTQ community you don’t understand or have a question about.
Um….Why is it so hard to find a girl who will love me? :P Why do people assume I’m straight just because I don’t look like a man?
Day 19: Butch or Femme?
Me? Femme. Preference? None.
Day 20 - Maureen or Joanne? (Or your favorite LGBTQ show or queer-positive show).
I don’t understand the first part? And The L Word, obviously. I also really like Glee.
Day 21: Political LGBTQ issue that is closest to you or affects you most.
Anything that has to do with being gay and being a parent. Gay parents are just like straight parents, and deserve to be treated as such.
Day 22: An LGBTQ image that makes you smile.
Day 23: An LGBTQ image that makes you cry or makes you angry.
Day 24: The stupidest argument/comment you’ve heard about gay people or an LGBTQ issue.
” “GOD HATES FAGS” — though elliptical — is a profound theological statement, which the world needs to hear more than it needs oxygen, water and bread.” - godhatesfags.com
Day 25: The LGBTQ slur you hate most or if you’ve taken back a slur and used it as a definition, ie queer or fag.
“Faggot” I cringe when I hear it.
Day 26: Your favorite gay joke (we all need to laugh at ourselves).
WOW. It was so hard to find gay jokes on the internet that weren’t really offensive! Here are a few I found that don’t bother me, ha.
Three friends, two straight guys and a gay guy, and their significant others were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and next thing you know, they’re standing before St. Peter.
First came one of the straight guys and his wife. St. Peter shook his head sadly. “I can’t let you in. You loved money too much. You loved it so much, you even married a woman named Penny.”
Then came the second straight guy. “Sorry, can’t let you in, either. You loved food too much. You loved to eat so much, you even married a woman named Candy!”
The gay guy turned to his boyfriend and whispered nervously, “It doesn’t look good, Dick.”
—
A man walked into a bar and ordered 10 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asked, “What’s the matter?”
The man said, “I found out my brother is gay and marrying my best friend.”
The next day the same man came in and ordered 12 shots of whiskey.
The bartender asked, “What’s wrong this time?”
The man said, “I found out that my son is gay.”
The next day the same man came in the bar and ordered 15 shots of whiskey.
Then the bartender asked, “Doesn’t anyone in your family like women?”
The man looked up and said, “Apparently my wife does.”
—
An old cowboy sat down at the bar and ordered a drink. As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “Well, I’ve spent my whole life, breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.”
She said, “I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.”
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, “Are you a real cowboy?”
He replied, “I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian.”
Day 27: Your favorite LGBTQ blog/tumblr/site.
I don’t really have one?
Day 28: Write a letter to someone. It can be a coming out letter or a letter regarding how you hate their homophobia or whatnot. You don’t have to send it.
Does this mean I also don’t have to post it? :P
Day 29 - SHOUT SOMETHING! IT CAN BE HAPPY AND ABOUT PRIDE OR ABOUT WHY YOU HATE HOMOPHOBIA!
MINDFUCKS FUCKING SUCK. :D
Day 30: Anything LGBTQ you’d like to end this on.
Diana Agron and Lea Michelle are gay and are a couple. Kristen Stewart and Ellen Page are also gay. We’re just waiting for them to come out. :P *wishful thinking*
This song is really beautiful. There’s only one line I don’t like: “There is one God, and that’s a fact.” A fact is a Universal truth that can be proven. The existence of God cannot be proven, therefore it is not a fact. I believe in multiple Gods. Some people believe in none.
But the repetition of “I am who I am, and that is that,” is just gorgeous. (: Perfect song for spiritual work or meditation. I first heard it in my Pilates class.
Some old poems written by yours truly…. (:
(Don’t steal people’s art. It’s wrong and you’re an asshole if you do.)
