Rafiki's Cove

I was recently asked, “SO I just finished reading your little “debate” and I have got to say.I am in love with you. Marry me?”

I answered, “Oh my goodness! Thank you! (:

My Goddess has many faces. See, in my belief system that I have created for myself, we all have our own personal Gods and Goddess, of whom we are extensions. To relate it to life, it’s sort of like dreaming. When we go to sleep and enter the dream realm, we have bodies and experiences that feel real but our “real” bodies are in tact, laying in our beds. When we’re dreaming, we can’t remember the events of our lives, all we can remember is what we are supposed to remember in the specific dream. I believe that when we “die” we go back to our spiritual bodies, and when we do, we remember all the events in all of the lives we have lived. But when we are born, we “forget” all of those things, because remembering them all in our tiny brains would overload them. We can tap into the consciousness of our “Higher Selves” through meditation, spell work, prayer, and other divination practices. I also believe that simply believing in something makes it true. That’s not to say that believing the sky is brown will make it brown, but on a metaphysical level, believing in something gives it power. So all the ancient gods and goddesses are real in a sense. Does that make any sense? Sorry if it doesn’t, haha.”

The reason I didn’t post it is because I like to answer questions privately. It’s difficult to continually check back to someone’s blog to see whether or not they answered. I liked my answer, so I thought I would share. (:

Cultural appropriation….

You wanna talk cultural appropriation? Look at the Irish. Their entire culture is appropriated from Scotland…except for the excessive drinking and leprechauns. But the bagpipes, kilts, step dancing, celtic music…all of that originates from Scotland. They say that the ancient Irish peoples most likely come from Germania, and were in fact not a Celtic people.

You wanna talk prejudice and mistreatment based on culture? How about when the English raped and pillaged and murdered Scotsman, simply because they were Scotsman? They thought, “Hey, let’s just breed them out. So we’ll rape new wives on their wedding night, and make sure those bastards are ours.”

Or, can we talk about how Christians appropriated almost all of their holidays/traditions from Pagan cultures****? And then burned, hanged, drowned, tortured, and molested witches, and anyone who didn’t conform to Christian beliefs?

No, we can’t? Because that would involve “white” cultures getting appropriated too? White people are the root of all evil? All white people are ignorant? All white people are racist? All white people need to “sit down and shut the fuck up?” All white people say stupid things, and all the things they say are racist, or are tied to their “white privilege?” That sounds racist to me.

I’m not saying that racism doesn’t exist, or that it’s not a very real issue. What I’m saying is that it isn’t black and white, pun intended. There’s a whole range of in between, and I dislike being judged based on my SKIN COLOUR just as much as you do. My ancestors were also hated based on ethnicity, and culture. My ancestors were also poorly mistreated. But I am not my ancestors.

Can we give the cultural appropriation thing a rest now? Every culture has appropriated from another. Almost everything was appropriated at some point. Appropriation does not have to be a bad thing. It can be a very good thing. It can bridge the gaps between cultures. Yes, wearing religious symbols without knowing what they mean can be offensive (headdresses) and it’s understandable because all of the Native cultures have been practically erased by awful things done in the past. But I am NOT my ancestors. I am me. I didn’t do those things to you. I didn’t do those things to your ancestors.

If you want to talk issues, talk issues, but don’t bring cultural appropriation into it. Bring stereotypes into it (that would include “playing Indian” on Halloween). Bring actual mistreatment into it. But don’t blame the issues on cultural appropriation, because that’s not the root. People aren’t mistreated because of cultural appropriation. They’re mistreated because of racism, stereotypes, and hatred. That goes for all “races,” ethnicities, and cultures.

And on the dreads thing: IT’S THE NATURAL STATE OF ALL HAIR TYPES. Something that is NATURAL is not CULTURAL. Why do you think people have to brush their hair, and put conditioner in it? If they don’t, it locks up. That’s called the “neglect method.” It works.

That’s like saying that Europeans can’t eat pineapples because they come from South America. That’s stupid. If it’s natural…if it comes from Nature, it belongs to NO ONE, and no specific culture. This includes feathers, and stones, and specific cloth types.

****Edit: Pagan cultures. Meaning cultures that weren’t Christian. I’m not speaking of Neo-Paganism.

The Cross and the Pagan

“As men in the forest, erect and free,
We prayed to God in the living tree;
You razed our shrine, to the wood-god’s loss,
And out of the tree you fashioned a Cross!

You left us for worship one day in seven;
In exchange for our earth you offered us heaven;
Dizzy with wonder, and wild with loss,
We bent the knee to your awful Cross.

You sad, sweet Christ - we called him Lord;
He promised us peace, but he brought a sword;
In shame and sorrow, in pain and loss,
We have drunk his cup; we have borne his Cross!”

- Elaine Goodale Eastman 1912

Marriage and Family Relations….

Chapter 04 - Switching Roles

“To get a sense of the significance of gender roles, please respond to the following question. Would you be a similar person if you were the other gender? Would your plans be different? What about your activities, feelings and goals? (If you run out of ideas to fill the page, try this. What kind (style) of clothes would you wear if you were the other gender? Why is it acceptable for females to act masculine, but not for males to act feminine?)”

      I have a feeling that if I were born male, I would be very similar to how I am now. I think my particular situation is very unique, though. I am what people call “queer,” which means I have no sexual preference towards males or females. This aspect of me has influenced my gender roles quite a bit in my life. There was even a time when I considered transitioning to being a male. (But then I decided I quite enjoyed being a woman, and that idea fell through.)

      A lot of my traits come from nurture, rather than nature, though I do admit there is a large influence of both. If I were born male, I still would have had the same parents, and I imagine I would essentially have the same circumstances in my life. I probably would have fallen for the same men and women I did, and would still have discovered my “queerness.” I imagine I would still love to sing, act, dance, read, and write. I would also probably have the same morals, and spirituality. I would probably be an effeminate man, with a beard. I also would probably still have decided to get dreads in my hair.

      But I can’t help but think I would also be very different. A lot of what I love about me stems from my femininity and power as woman. I love to wear skirts and dresses, and flowers in my hair. But I have this need for people to like me, and I fear that if I were a man, I would repress a lot of my desires. Men have all this pressure on them to be masculine, and to fit into a tiny little box, whereas the modern woman has more freedom with her lifestyle choices. I’m not quite sure why this is. Perhaps there is a genetic trait which makes most men fear rejection far more than women.

      In all honesty, I love being a woman. I love the power and sensuality there is in womanhood. I love that someday I will be able to create and sustain life within my womb. I love my inner Goddess. I love my soft skin, and flowery clothing. I think life as a man would be too restricting. I definitely do not envy them.

Oh my goddess, guys. I love having dreads. <3

Meditation: 1/26/2012 (I held my daughter(s) for the first time!!)

I went to my meditation class again last night, and I had a very profound, enlightening, and powerful experience.

I’m not going to go over how he led us into the meditation, like I did last time. ( http://rafiki-town.tumblr.com/post/16162948668/meditation-1-19-12 ) A lot of the imagery was the same. I’m just going to try and relate my own experiences within the meditation in the best way that I can. (Without transitions from one to the next….sorry about that, haha. It was just a lot.)

- Our teacher told us that we were connected to “The Creator,” however we see them. I saw a pregnant woman, and she told me she was the Goddess, and that she had many forms by which she has been seen. I saw her giving birth to a spiritual being, and she said the spiritual being was me, and yet I was also her (the Goddess). I understood that when I died, I would return to her, and we would give birth to the next persona we were to be in our next life. (As we had done many times before.)

- Our teacher once again introduced us to the imagery of “The Knower,” who is the being who understands you and knows you 100%. I saw a genderless being, with a flat chest, and no genitals, with long hair. The Knower (who hadn’t really had a shape in my previous meditation) was a being of light, and therefore didn’t have things like nipples, or body hair. But she (yes, she was genderless, but I don’t prefer to call her “it” so I will stick with “she” for this post) did have hair upon her head, which was also light. Our teacher said that if an embrace was appropriate, to give one. I felt it was, so I hugged the Knower, like an old friend.

- The Knower led me to the dark place I was in during my last meditation, and it didn’t feel right. The only way I can explain it, is that it was similar to what I imagine a snake feels when it is ready to shed its old skin for new skin. So the Knower took my hand and led me to a portal. Our teacher told us we would find a guardian at the portal. I saw the guardian as another genderless being, but “he” was not made of light. (Though he was genderless, I sensed masculine energy within “him.”) My teacher said that if an embrace was appropriate, to give one. I felt that a handshake was the most appropriate. The place I was led into was beyond beautiful. I saw a world of lush plants. Most of them do not exist on Earth, and I could not name them. When I first entered this world, I felt like a child. I was running in the grass, and excitedly pointing to different plants. I did cartwheels, and rejoiced in this beautiful place. The Knower looked upon this like a parent would a child. She was still, but content.

- Our teacher said we could invite people into this world, and I saw many creatures, like sprites, faeries, and many otherkin. I also saw children, but I saw no human adults, and no one I knew from my current physical life.

- Our teacher told us that there was a place in our beautiful world, for which we would sit, and be still. I saw a picnic spread. (White and red checkered blanket, and a picnic basket.) I ran to the spot, and starting enthusiastically eating the food. (Veggies!) The Knower did not sit with me, nor eat the food, but simply silently gazed upon me. Then I tried to be still. It was extremely difficult. I felt like running, and jumping. I felt like I had too much energy. I just couldn’t be still. So, I stood. And I tried so hard to be still. But I could feel a light breeze moving my hair, and my dress, and I wanted to fly with it. Because I noticed I wasn’t still, I began to come out of the meditation. I was scared. I didn’t want to prematurely end the meditation and sit in a dark room with other people around me meditating.

- I saw myself growing younger and younger. I became a child and the Knower held me in her arms. I became a baby, and the Knower comforted me. I then became the Knower, and the child within my arms was my daughter. She was suckling at my breast, and I could finally be still, because I was no longer being still for me. I was being still for my daughter. Then my daughter became a toddler, and I laid in the grass, while she contentedly laid against me, and played with my hair. (Which happened to be completely dreaded, by the way.) I had to keep telling her not to eat my dreads, haha. Then my daughter began to grow before my very eyes, and another baby appeared in my arms. I recognized her as my second daughter. At this point I began to cry (real physical tears), because I knew I was really holding her.*** I saw other children running and laughing around me, and I knew I was surrounded by my other children, but they were not as focused on me, and I was not as focused on them. We loved each other, but in that moment it was not time for us to connect.

- When it became time to leave the meditation, I despaired. I wanted to stay there forever with my daughters. But my older daughter told me that I could come and visit any time, and that they would come into the physical realm when it was time. My eldest daughter held my younger daughter. My younger daughter then became a small child, and then my daughters held hands (rather than one carrying the other). I could feel their love, and knew I could see them whenever I wanted. This comforted me. They became wisps of smoke, and drifted away, yet I knew they were still with me.

-The Knower once again appeared, and took my hand. In that moment, I was once more like a child, rather than in the role of “Mother.” She led me out through the portal, and into the waking state. I was still crying when I left the meditation, and I cried super hard when my friend asked me what was wrong and I responded “Nothing is wrong. I held my daughter!” In that moment, it became real to me, and I knew the experience had been “real.”

***So about the “daughters thing”. I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this before on my blog, but I feel very connected to my first two daughters. (I currently have no physical children, and in this lifetime have never been pregnant.) I have had this hunger to be a mother since I was about four years old, and it has become stronger every year since then. Last summer, it was really hard for me. I was working at a day care center, and I was constantly surrounded by babies and children, and even two pregnant women. I could feel my daughters with me, and I knew they were impatient, because they wanted to come to Earth (though as I think on it now, it might have been my own impatience reflected.) I have seen them in my dreams and in “visions” many times, and I know they will be my first two children. The meditation was very healing for me, as it gave me the patience I needed in order to do the things I need to before I give them physical bodies. (Get a car, finish school, get a job, get a house, find their father, etc.) I know I saw my other children too (I want about six, but I’m not confident on how many I will actually have), but I feel like I am currently more connected to my first two daughters….most likely because they will be coming here much sooner than my rest. I know they will be old souls. I know they will be souls I have loved over many lifetimes. I am excited to re-connect with them in the physical realm, but I’m also ready to face that it won’t be today. :P

(Ps. My teacher actually told me before the meditation that I was a very old soul. That I was a “granny” in a young girl’s body. He said I had played the role of Shaman, and he saw me connected to the Natives from South America. He also said that he believes I was here when the Earth was not 100% physical, and I was about 10-12 feet tall (as all “humans” were in that “time”) and was not 100% physical myself. He said I was around when the “law of polarity” came into being. He also said that the metaphysical concepts come really easily for me, and to not let anyone tell me I’m not psychic, because I am very, very psychic. He also said that I have most likely been persecuted, and executed, for spiritual reasons, and for “being right.” I asked him if he saw me in England, and he said “Yes, middle ages.” He wouldn’t give me any more details, but I told him I was trying to confirm something, and he said that my suspicions were most likely correct….yikes! -I cannot tell you about that one. Sorry.- He said he would tell me when he’s doing a past life regression class. Yay!!!)